First real page. It’s a real webcomic. I’m a real boy.
I’ll say a few words, for clarification’s sake: The first two panels are in the present time (of the Prologue), and the rest of the page is a recount of a battle for which Pike (and the vulutre, Pepper) are being tried. The judge decides to be a rude dude and cut off the flashback with a gavel slam and judgement. In hindsight this direction leans more towards storyboard than comic, but it’s my story and I do what I want I’m sticking to my creative guns. For now.
Major props to Astro for bracing all the holiday hubbub to get this page done amidst that hubbub! All props go to her.
Soundtrack: High On Fire – “Sons Of Thunder”. Pretty appropriate for the prologue, which will continue and wrap up next week.
I’m guessing I should do a Currently Listening kinda thing for each entry as well. For this one, I’ll mention Nekrogoblikon, and this year’s album, Stench. You can listen to a stream of it, as well as throw money at Nekrogoblikon, over here.
I don’t think this is very clear in what’s happening. It’s very nice to look at, but I’ve read it a few times today and I still don’t understand.
The first two panels and the slamming gavel at the bottom sandwich a flashback/retelling of a battle that happened in the near past.
It made perfect sense to me, the first time around. There are major questions left unanswered, obviously; but I got what you were trying to say without problem. Don’t second-guess your vision this early.
Off to an impressive start. Can’t exactly judge the story from the first page but the art is top notch. Vibrant colors and unique line work, good show. The only complaint I have is that its a little difficult to understand what’s going on the first time through. Perhaps adding some type of border on panels 3-8 leading to the gavel to further show the relation between them? Or perhaps tinting those panels with a bit of gray to imply they are in the past? Regardless I look forward to seeing more of this.
Difficult to understand without your explication in the comments, but nevertheless it is very nice to observe and I will like to see where this is going.
Got here from ”thepunchlineismachismo”, btw.
This is pretty cool looking! I’ll certainly check back on Tuesday… after I read some Manly Guys doing Manly Things…
Soo, they are being trialed for murdering people in an attempt to get the guy that portalled out, yes?
Okay. I like the art, nothing very conclusive so far. I’ll keep an eye on this.
Yeah, I don’t really…. Like I read your explanation of it, but I still don’t really get it. It isn’t the best of starts for a webcomic, but I will check back later to read when you’ve got more pages up.
It looks good, but that’s about all that’s here right now.
It’s definitely more visually stimulating than tpim, but it may be all the smashes to the skull talking, but is.there a backstory to this revolt?
Well, I’ll certainly coming back – if this goes at all in the direction I think it will (from the first page, anyways), it will be awesome. If nothing else, the music suggestions were rather excellent ways to expand my metal vocabulary. Good luck with it! Hope it does metal things!
So, I got that the middle panels were a flashback sequence, but I am not sure what exactly is going on there. Obviously there is a fight, but were Pike and Pepper fighting to kill the guys who teleported away, or (my guess) were thy fighting for/with them and were betrayed/left to take the blame.
Can’t resist constructive criticism urges. Must critique.
The artwork is nicely done. Use of color within the panels has been carefully thought out. But a comic should never need a written explanation for what is going on. There should be a larger separation between the first two panels and the rest of the comic. Some color shift on the background page could also act as an indicator. Currently, the consistent spacing and solid black throughout makes me think everything is purely sequential.
Linked here from Manly Guys, gotta say I’m liking this so far! Nice art, and I must be on the same wavelength as you because the sequence of events in the image made sense to ME, at least. (Though maybe I’m just weird, who knows!) Will be checking back for more next Tuesday. ;p
A buzzard on trial, malevolent doings with tons of magic. This is off to a great start.
brilliant start dude! But I have to agree with the others, the flow is a bit confusing without the explanation. A good tool I’ve seen that would work for a present-to-flash back-to-present is to connect the third panel with the top 2 by fading the dividing boundaries and fade the bottom parts of the last panels to show that the flashback is ending. Maybe make the gavel bigger and invade some panel space to better express it’s interrupting the flashback. The back drop does lay a sequential feeling to it rather than dividing past/present.
All around great job for a first page and I’m anxious to see where this leads
So … is this being set in Planescape?
Congrats on the launch of your comic. Interesting and detailed drawing style, looking forward to seeing more of it.
Agree with what I expect you’ll get a lot of. Comics are mainly a visual medium – if you have to explain it, you’re not doing it very well. There are a ton of ways to differentiate times in comics from simple border effects, color palettes and such. Hell, you could simply edit it in an art program and easily fix that. The art itself is good, but the storytelling needs a little work – I understand that this is a lot harder with choosing to do a ‘silent’ page, but there are ways. I’d suggest reading the often advised Scott McCloud books – UNDERSTANDING COMICS in particulary good at explaining some storytelling techniques. Other than that, I’ll be coming back to see how you evolve – the best part is that you are already at this level.
Oh goodness, I’m a bit late in replying to this, but I figured I should.
Thank you for the advice, and for the book recommendation! I am a fan of McCloud’s work, but I don’t think I’ve read Understanding Comics. I’ll be sure to try and find it next time I’m out to a bookstore. And please, if you have any constructive criticism on any of the proceeding pages, I would be glad to hear it, because I will certainly try to apply this in my future work.
Hmm – if I were Pepper, I’d be offended at being stuffed in a cage. (Though I suppose Pike isn’t happy having his wings bounded, either.)
Either way – great start. Love the colours and the expressions; you’ve got them down pat, that’s obvious.
You are on your way to fucking something with this, my friend.
Bitchin’ soundtrack as well.
Is there supposed to be text bubbles? I think that the lack of dialogue is what makes the page so hard to follow. If there isn’t supposed to be…well…ummm… it’s nicely drawn. But confusing as hell.
Well, art is amazing and the story got a “what the…..” from me.
Good start! Looking forward tae seeing where this goes.
Excellent work, can’t wait to find out what happens next. I’m a big fan of MGDMT, got here through there.
p.s. the dude who portals out at the end looks like an Evil Abe Lincoln
. Dunno if he’s supposed to, but it made me smile.
Thank you so much! We would’ve also accepted “Captain ‘Gregory Peck’ Ahab.”
Echoing the others. The visual is awesome but there is no flow between the panels or anything to indicate the passing of time. I thought the judge was reading a magic book or something.
One thing also: I half-follow another webcomic called Harbourmaster but the art is nowhere near this. But the characters are flat and pretty dull; and you don’t get anything really from the panels. All the interesting stuff, the stuff you should see visually and from the text, is instead in the author notes. So I can skip everything in the comic but a bare glance, read the notes, and know more than anything in the comic itself. So while notes are good, it shouldn’t explain what we can’t get from the comic already.
I’m in love with Pepper already! Linked from Manly Guys, favorite-ing this now as well. Love the art, took me 2 viewings to really follow but looking forward to much more!
Well, I say it’s readable enough. Stick to your guns and let the mass confusion continue!
I understood it fine without having to read the explanation, but I can see why there might be confusion. It looks great.
Ofcourse it doesn’t make much sense yet, this is the very first page guys. Let the guy start weaving and put it all into context, excellent first page!
Jim
Thanks! New, just as confusing second page has been posted.
Nice. It’s awesome that you’ve gotten this thing started and I’m excited to see where you go with this crazy thing. Insert more supportive junk here.
Thanks, man. Cheers!
So, any news on when the next comic will be coming in? :/
Your timing is impeccable, my man. New page just went up!
(I seriously saw your post just before uploading the page. Totes truth.)